It got me thinking, because we have some group chats set up at work which comprise of several thousand people. (By group chats, I mean where anybody in the chat can send any message at anytime on equal footing.) For example if you want to get in touch with a department in charge of a certain service, you have to join the group chat and ask a question there. In front of a room of thousands of people. At least, that is what it feels like to me. Maybe I am on the self-conscious side when it comes to modern technology, but for me that feels like standing up in a room of thousands of people and asking my mundane question.
Then I have to worry about crap like: Am I wasting these peoples' time by posting my question? Should I know the answer to this already? What are my colleagues gonna think when they see me posting in that group chat? Could I unwittingly trigger a negative reaction in someone? Everyone will know me as "the-person-who-asked-THAT-question" but I can't see what everyone else's reaction to my question is...
Andrea Piacquadio via Pexel
Are they sniggering behind their computers? Are they rolling their eyes? Are they sighing at my ignorance? Are they shaking their heads at my dumbness? Will they think my words are too old-fashioned? Or too casual for addressing someone unknown? Or did I get a little snippet of respect for asking a question that someone else also had on their mind? Did I get a raised eyebrow for exceeding their expectations with my intelligent question? Exactly what judgment will be placed on me for my words in the chat?
And then, will my question get a response? Or will I get a list of clarifying questions in return, which transform my quick inquiry into a long conversation back-and-forth in which I come across as increasingly confused and inept. Will my colleagues get annoyed about a string of unnecessary notifications about something they don't care about? Will they realize that I don't know what I'm doing? Will my greatest fear materialize - that everyone thinks I'm stoopid.
Like most people, I don't speak regularly in front of a huge number of people. A couple hundred of people that I know and whose reactions I can see - that I can do. But thousands of people who I don't know and I can't see - that freaks me out. Like sweat-on-the-palms and heart-jumping-out-of-my-chest freak out. That number of people really multiplies the possible reactions and consequences.
There are group chats of about 100 people who I know and have spoken to before, and I am okay with that.
But there are also group chats of about 200 people who I don't know, and somehow that does not feel okay. That feels like I've crossed into the realm of major unease.
The number of people that people we are comfortable communicating in front of clearly varies from person to person. Some people are fine speaking in front of audiences of millions. But communicating in front of an audience of strangers is nervewracking for me.
So maybe it's not about the number. It's more about whether you know the people outside of that group chat. Ergo, a group chat is too big when you don't know most of the people in it.
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